happy monday family! ok fine i realize no ones know what i am talking about! hell i don't even know what is going to come out of my mouth until hear it! and watch the expressions on the faces of the ppl in the room! shocking shit!
wow! 10 amazing ppl gave star 10 $! bless you bless you and you and you and blessings to all who made an effort to focus our intent!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V94pBlA4n7U
ok so let's pretend that i never grew up... none of us did! it has all been a dream and we have one week from today to be back at school! wow... stay with me
you got your visual when we saw star wars in high school! your teacher is littler than you! you should not be allowed into school with him! remember when luke wandered off against the advise of yoda and killed his own father only to actually kill himself?!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPoEA43cqKc
ok so everyone i have met on my path for the past 1/1/2011 has told me "no! your not allowed!" everyone for much of my life has said no. but i am homeschooling Star! will it would be home schooling if we had a home but since not we are unschooling! she is not having anything to do with worksheets or math tests or walking in straight lines under florescent lights! but she knits and paints and reads and does beautiful handwriting and meets crazy ppl and learns about addiction every where she goes everyone has a story! and she listens to her crazy mother until she wants to attack me in front of a room full of ppl! there is a reason my son is the way he is! because i am nuts! from morning till night i am insane on every one within hearing distance! and my son learned to run from me! for all you kids and your moms who took him in only to wake up one morning to say "where did he go?" yes my white native boy can run a minute mile in his moccasins!
Monday, December 28, 2015
Sunday, May 31, 2015
good morning family! welcome to the day of rest...
well family, i can feel your all in fear of what ima say next...
so hold on to your seats! here we go...
it has taken me along time to figure out what the truth is
and all that time i was doing the same thing i see your all doing.
with your finger out and your mouth open, you see who is doing it wrong
and then you see more doing it wrong, then you wake up in the morning and see more doing it wrong, and then more goes wrong and the louder you scream and point no one stops doing it wrong
every time you look it seems to be getting worse by the minute.
now i am going to say the thing i have been saying all along
stop looking at it and just love the one in front of you!
if you can't understand what that means think about it!
i am not here to be your judge and you are not here to be mine
your children will do that and believe me now when i say you should be more skeered of that reality than anything i could ever say about you or to you.
because you can not hide from what you made them... everything you ever did is coded in their hearts, every thought you ever thunk is bouncing around their brains as possible choices.
every intent you ever entertained is beaming right out of their eyes.
now children hear me, if you just thought good! i am gonna tell!
my mom did not love my dad enuf or my dad did not love my mom enuf...
you better stop and rethink.
because in the face of Divine Love that idea is going to sound pretty stupid!
hey dumb fuck! look in the mirror! are you not a creation of love?!
do you not understand how babies are made!?
they loved each other just enuf to make a possibility
cuz that's what we all are... just a possibility... we all knew none us were gonna get it right
only one guy came here with all the codes to get it right and the minute he got it
he shot off into outer space shouting over his shoulder "love one another"
which is nice talk... in today's language is would have sounded more like
"good luck mother fuckers" because he knew what we all are
and he knew what we were gonna create on our own.
a big freakin mess! and hear me now family
it a big fucking mess and no one is paying attention! you all sit on your fat asses
and believe the bullshit they pump into that idiot box you stare at and do everything your told
you pay your taxes and register your cars and you take your children to school and gather garbage to show off your collection of bullshit to your bullshit friends who stay in their own box and do as they are told. and you think you love
forgive me
if i sound angry and talk about love at the same time and you can not understand
i do not understand either... but you were right pam when you said
"this is not about you and isaiah"
but it is not about you and chad either.
it is about every mother and every son
and every family who has been torn apart by the lies
and set on the path of divide and conquer
here is a news flash people we are all on that path. we are all only doing what was done to us
no one can follow a path that has not been shown. and if the path was ever shown
they have since hidden it and lied about it because i am here to tell you
Jesus had a wife. and God is a couple. Divine Love takes two
working together as equals.
and no it is not hand in hand or arm in arm
when your gonna yoke together two beasts of burden of different sizes to pull one load
no sister a real woman does not get behind her man.
a real woman has her man behind her
why would i get behind? i can't see where i am going like that.
i have spent my life saying "i will not serve you like that and no you will not serve me like that"
i am sorry if you heard it like "i am not your fucking maid and i am done with your bullshit"
but you better understand now when faced with Divine Love
i am going to be able to say "i loved that one till the cops showed up and told me to leave, i loved that one till he threatened to kill me, i loved that one till he tried to kill me, i loved that one till he tried to have sex with my children and in the process i made that love and that love and that love and that love and that love."
because listen family that is all i ever did, i have never held a job for more than 6 months, i have never owned a car or a house or even lived in one for more than a year. i have never been in a club or had a church where i belonged. i don't go on dates or get invited to parties. i have never been addicted to street drugs or shopping or food. i have never had a friend who last long
because as soon as a girl sees the way her man aims his intent at me she will say
"you gotta go"
and yes you were close to the truth
when you asked gramma about those prom pictures hanging in the house in flagstaff
"so aunt sarah was married to my dad?" no sweetheart, your mom married my first kiss
and your dad did not help my case when i came to clean and cook for my sister who i love
and tried to get you kids to get up and help... and he walked in the door and saw what was going on and said "well i guess i married the wrong sister"
and that was only the first time of many, every sister, every time...
so now let's get to the bottom line. after almost 24 hrs of drama
(which caused such an amount of anger in my son he just yesterday spoke to me since)
after all your planning and talking and your man trying against his better judgement
your boy got in the car with me and said it all "do you wanna know what my mom said?"
"if i must..."
"did you fuck my friend?!"
he did not hear anything else you said. i was so enraged!
i thought my head was going to explode. "what?! why would she think that?!"
and that is when your child told on you... not me. i did not say it
"sarah, you are the only one of my mom's friends who i have not..."
sister you need to rethink your friends!
when my path led me to your home christmas before last and your boy first recognized us as "boudreau's little brother?!" and you turned to me and said "oh i know your sister, those girls did not help when i lost my boy because they would not be my friend. at baseball games she looked around me like this" well i am not that sister, i am the sister who showed up to love and support you. on the day you called needing help i showed up to be abused and mocked, against the screaming advice of my son who has been on the front lines of the drug war since the day he was born. and now that you realize your boy has been enlisted... when you called... i thought i was coming to you to talk about how 2 beautiful women of God can work together to make a difference... and you thought i was there to fuck your son?! no i am not trying to fuck your son, and i am not trying to fuck your husband or your boyfriend or yours or yours or yours! as a matter of fact that is the exact thing i really hope never happens to me again!
i am ready to experience love now
someone is going to love me now and
i don't know what any of you are talking about
ok so i am just going to tell you what happened here today
my son just called me to tell me an unarmed handcuffed teenage boy was shot dead, six times by the police here in cottonwood. my son knows this boys father of course... he showed up at the halfway house where my son is with a handful of bloody gravel to inform all his brothers in the program "i will never stay sober now... they killed my boy!'
and that family is what i am talking about!
it's about a boy who will never get the chance...
and a father who will never get the chance...
so family now's your chance! i am telling you now's the time to love!
every person right where you are standing, turn to the closest person and say
"i love you! you are perfectly imperfect! you have done it just right and i have done it just right, there is nothing to forgive and i am sorry i forgot till now, but we are the family who loves each other! i am here for you and i am going to be right here for you because whatever you just did and whatever i just did was dumb and we are going to do the exact opposite of that
by loving each other now!"
so i will tell you what i am going to do now,
i am going to post this and one other thing to facebook and
tag myself on the map so you can all see where i am
then i am going to take this laptop back to uncle clyde's neighbor and then walk to the river
i have noticed 450+ people have read my words without one comment
so don't expect a response now... i do not communicate electronically
if you wanna talk, get in your fancy car and come find me
i am ten steps from a historic highway which is 15 mins from an inner state freeway
figure it out! i believe in you!
didn't he say "where 2 or more of you are gathered together..."
something like that, well i am just wittle ol me alone...
where are you?
Thursday, May 28, 2015
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
Thursday, May 21, 2015
it's time for a birthday party!
my most kind and gracious...
Heavenly Father,
it's me sarah...
well it's thursday here and the sun is shining,
everything is just so beautiful and perfect in every way.
i love you and i love you and i can't stop loving you every minute.
Father i just wanna say out loud that i am beyond greatful for every single thing you have shown me.
you know that i am so thankful for every minute that you have guided me and protected me on my journey.
but now Father my journey is over... i have seen and heard and felt all these things and i am ready now to tell the truth.
i can do it Father, with your help of course!
i can be brave... i am not afraid.
but Father i can not do it with all these ppl speaking out against me.
you alone have been with me and supported me for months and years as i have fasted myself frail,
i have prayed my wittle brains out and meditated on the love of your Son and the mysteries of eternity. and you know i have done all this. i have worked and worked and worked to free myself from anger.
an amount of anger so consuming i was compelled to hiss in the face of any one who judged me.
Heavenly Father you have taught me a lot about judgement.
the first thing being,..everyone is doing it! as a matter of fact, no one can stop.
everyone is doing it every minute. i have realized it is having to do with
free will...
how can one make the jump if not to judge the distance?
but that way of thinking is the reverse of having faith, it is the opposite of trusting.
the teacher you sent me figured it out today. Star called! yay me! i am so blessed! thank you!
i was mentioning a fact that was odd... i had slept all night from the time i lay down at night until
the sun came up the next morning every night for the past so many nights...
and my Star Blessing
in her brightness
says "i think it is because you have been waking up every night to cover me up at night."
what? why would you say that?
"because since i have been with Cici i have had to wake up and pull the covers back on." she said
and had you never done that before? you heard me ask her in my retardedness
"not once." she said with confidence... not once? in 10 yrs?
Father do you understand what that means? here they call it PTSD
because you see here they don't help you when you are sick they just call you names.
and i have been called a lot of names...
well you know
here lets change course... we'll go green for a minute...
let's just talk about what it going on here right now, my boy is gonna be a man!
yeah! i'm pretty excited about it! him not so much i find.
when i mentioned it to him the other day
he responded "well yeah, but i already been a man for awhile now!"
and yes, in my own hillbilly mind he has been a man since he was bigger that me...
as you have seen, that was when he stopped doing anything i said. it was when he informed me
in his newly found manly growl "i do what i want!" i see Father that he was teaching me tho, it was not directed at me as a threat. it was in a war story of how he survived being locked up. Father God, i thought i was not going to be able to take it one more time
but wow! Heavenly Father you held me up!
every minute... i know you held me up!
epilepsy was the trick...
as everyone else was questioning if they had a higher power
i was learning to deal with sudden power loss and power loss and power loss and another power loss
and you are Great Father! and you are good and you are amazing and wonderful and i can't say it enuf you are awesome to me!
you sent me here with all the tools i would need to support my boy and stand up with him
and be the only one who faced with him 20 different lock down facilities before he turned himself in for
9 months in prison.
and now Father he is turning 21 tomorrow...
21 years i have done it alone
and for all those 21 years they have judged me and judged me and judged me
and they have gotten together in groups and judged me
and formed panels and committees, and clubs of haters have come together to judge me
and Myzaya
the two of us have been under attack here every minute
but Heavenly Father you sent us our rock from heaven
our Angel Brielle Star Blessing
and she has indeed been our rock!
she has always been the reason for us to keep moving forward
but now Heavenly Father... well you see where we are now
and you have shown me
that the unjust spoken words of one woman
can knock me right back down to where i was a month ago
and you can see Father it is not just one woman it is so many both men and women
every person who has ever heard our story has blasted us with every woulda shoulda coulda
that their dumb twisted minds can think up! they aim their expectations and their assumptions at us like canons. i have no doubt that you have seen all these things and you know all things and i understand now that all these things have been for our learning. and now finally i have come to the understanding why i am going to have to ask you to make them stop. you know Father that i love all your creation! i love all ppl. and i want us all to experience peace and joy and abunDance in all it's forms. because i see now that this is the thing that you want. you are the Great God who's intent is to experience creating thru your creation.
and so... that being the thing... for us to move forward from here in the direction which will lead us
back to you... we are gonna need all your little traffic lights who have been set at free will, to stop
focusing on us. if we are all gonna remember that we are the family that loves each other
if anyone is going to realize that there is nothing to forgive
we are going to need our fields to be cleared of
shame and blame and hate and
confusion
holy michael the arch angel, defend us in battle!
Holy Father God i am asking you now to send all your angels to defend us
because the battle is looking pretty bleak from here and i can not defend myself
i can not keep lifting them up to you one at a time, well i could if you wanted me to obviously
but i am not doing any good. i am doing any good like this. i used to think i was putting out fires
but i see now that all i am doing is fanning the flame. "shut the fuck up?" did he just tell me to shut
the fuck up? what in the hell?! yes Father i have understood for a minute now that we are all in hell and
all we have here is hate this and fear this and hate this and fear this and hate this and fear this and hate and
i can't take it anymore! so what now? i certainly can't put the entire planet on my prayer pulley and hoist it up to you. what would be the point? you just threw us out to learn our lessons! i do not know how to fix it
all i know is how to make a mess. i don't even know what i am talking about... the Just Judge! yeah send
HIm! the Prince of Peace he's the one we need now! the Master Teacher is the one who is to teach
us how! i know he came once before... but for just a minute and everyone was being dumb and
no one wanted to learn and you saw what happened. but we are ready to learn now
well i have found many who are. so many who are crying out to you.
and the others... well i am sure our Teacher of the Truth will
be able to call the class to attention as soon
as he comes! I know nothing Father,
you know that but i can give it all up to you!
i know that much! i am humbly asking you Father to
take our hearts and take our minds and make them your own!
make us worthy to do thy work!
i humbly ask you in the name of Your Son Jesus Christ
for thy will to be done on earth as it is in Heaven!
(pls send help soon we are all swirling the drain!)
i love you and i love you and i love you so
much i miss you every minute!
i wanted to be with you
by now! so if i am
not to come
you
Please send Love down to us
in the name of
Jesus Christ
amen
i can do it Father, with your help of course!
i can be brave... i am not afraid.
but Father i can not do it with all these ppl speaking out against me.
you alone have been with me and supported me for months and years as i have fasted myself frail,
i have prayed my wittle brains out and meditated on the love of your Son and the mysteries of eternity. and you know i have done all this. i have worked and worked and worked to free myself from anger.
an amount of anger so consuming i was compelled to hiss in the face of any one who judged me.
Heavenly Father you have taught me a lot about judgement.
the first thing being,..everyone is doing it! as a matter of fact, no one can stop.
everyone is doing it every minute. i have realized it is having to do with
free will...
how can one make the jump if not to judge the distance?
but that way of thinking is the reverse of having faith, it is the opposite of trusting.
the teacher you sent me figured it out today. Star called! yay me! i am so blessed! thank you!
i was mentioning a fact that was odd... i had slept all night from the time i lay down at night until
the sun came up the next morning every night for the past so many nights...
and my Star Blessing
in her brightness
says "i think it is because you have been waking up every night to cover me up at night."
what? why would you say that?
"because since i have been with Cici i have had to wake up and pull the covers back on." she said
and had you never done that before? you heard me ask her in my retardedness
"not once." she said with confidence... not once? in 10 yrs?
Father do you understand what that means? here they call it PTSD
because you see here they don't help you when you are sick they just call you names.
and i have been called a lot of names...
well you know
here lets change course... we'll go green for a minute...
let's just talk about what it going on here right now, my boy is gonna be a man!
yeah! i'm pretty excited about it! him not so much i find.
when i mentioned it to him the other day
he responded "well yeah, but i already been a man for awhile now!"
and yes, in my own hillbilly mind he has been a man since he was bigger that me...
as you have seen, that was when he stopped doing anything i said. it was when he informed me
in his newly found manly growl "i do what i want!" i see Father that he was teaching me tho, it was not directed at me as a threat. it was in a war story of how he survived being locked up. Father God, i thought i was not going to be able to take it one more time
but wow! Heavenly Father you held me up!
every minute... i know you held me up!
epilepsy was the trick...
as everyone else was questioning if they had a higher power
i was learning to deal with sudden power loss and power loss and power loss and another power loss
and you are Great Father! and you are good and you are amazing and wonderful and i can't say it enuf you are awesome to me!
you sent me here with all the tools i would need to support my boy and stand up with him
and be the only one who faced with him 20 different lock down facilities before he turned himself in for
9 months in prison.
and now Father he is turning 21 tomorrow...
21 years i have done it alone
and for all those 21 years they have judged me and judged me and judged me
and they have gotten together in groups and judged me
and formed panels and committees, and clubs of haters have come together to judge me
and Myzaya
the two of us have been under attack here every minute
but Heavenly Father you sent us our rock from heaven
our Angel Brielle Star Blessing
and she has indeed been our rock!
she has always been the reason for us to keep moving forward
but now Heavenly Father... well you see where we are now
and you have shown me
that the unjust spoken words of one woman
can knock me right back down to where i was a month ago
and you can see Father it is not just one woman it is so many both men and women
every person who has ever heard our story has blasted us with every woulda shoulda coulda
that their dumb twisted minds can think up! they aim their expectations and their assumptions at us like canons. i have no doubt that you have seen all these things and you know all things and i understand now that all these things have been for our learning. and now finally i have come to the understanding why i am going to have to ask you to make them stop. you know Father that i love all your creation! i love all ppl. and i want us all to experience peace and joy and abunDance in all it's forms. because i see now that this is the thing that you want. you are the Great God who's intent is to experience creating thru your creation.
and so... that being the thing... for us to move forward from here in the direction which will lead us
back to you... we are gonna need all your little traffic lights who have been set at free will, to stop
focusing on us. if we are all gonna remember that we are the family that loves each other
if anyone is going to realize that there is nothing to forgive
we are going to need our fields to be cleared of
shame and blame and hate and
confusion
holy michael the arch angel, defend us in battle!
Holy Father God i am asking you now to send all your angels to defend us
because the battle is looking pretty bleak from here and i can not defend myself
i can not keep lifting them up to you one at a time, well i could if you wanted me to obviously
but i am not doing any good. i am doing any good like this. i used to think i was putting out fires
but i see now that all i am doing is fanning the flame. "shut the fuck up?" did he just tell me to shut
the fuck up? what in the hell?! yes Father i have understood for a minute now that we are all in hell and
all we have here is hate this and fear this and hate this and fear this and hate this and fear this and hate and
i can't take it anymore! so what now? i certainly can't put the entire planet on my prayer pulley and hoist it up to you. what would be the point? you just threw us out to learn our lessons! i do not know how to fix it
all i know is how to make a mess. i don't even know what i am talking about... the Just Judge! yeah send
HIm! the Prince of Peace he's the one we need now! the Master Teacher is the one who is to teach
us how! i know he came once before... but for just a minute and everyone was being dumb and
no one wanted to learn and you saw what happened. but we are ready to learn now
well i have found many who are. so many who are crying out to you.
and the others... well i am sure our Teacher of the Truth will
be able to call the class to attention as soon
as he comes! I know nothing Father,
you know that but i can give it all up to you!
i know that much! i am humbly asking you Father to
take our hearts and take our minds and make them your own!
make us worthy to do thy work!
i humbly ask you in the name of Your Son Jesus Christ
for thy will to be done on earth as it is in Heaven!
(pls send help soon we are all swirling the drain!)
i love you and i love you and i love you so
much i miss you every minute!
i wanted to be with you
by now! so if i am
not to come
you
Please send Love down to us
in the name of
Jesus Christ
amen
Saturday, April 4, 2015
good morning Heavenly Father, it's me sarah...
good morning heavenly Father! it's me sarah, first let me say how greatful i am for my life! i have been so very blessed every minute! i really wanna say thank you so much for this beautiful classroom you made for me to come and learn my lessons! everything is so beautiful and amazing! the blue skies, the air is so perfect! the great oceans, the water is so clear and cleansing! the land is so abundant with every growing thing! the green trees! Father i love green the best! thx for making so much of it! the animals are stunning! the reptiles are shocking! the birds, oh my heart! i love them so much i want to fly too! and the puppies! nice work Father so much love squeezed in to so tiny and fluffy, there could never be enuf! and the food, thank you so much for so many things to nourish me! ok i must say popcorn! really?! pure magic! why are you so amazing and magical and fabulous in every way?! my poor wittle brain can't conceive!
Father i really want to thank you for all the teachers you put in my path! so many teachers prepared ahead of time by generations of repeated choices to teach me every lesson of how to love and how to hate, of how to share and how to be greedy, how to embrace abundance and how to live in lack. Father i wanna thank you for allowing me to learn compassion thru my suffering! (pls forgive me for being such a noisy suffer!) and for allowing me to learn how to choose faith over fear. Father i really just wanna thank you and thank you and thank you every minute but i know i could never thank you enuf and you know how i go on and on so ima just move forward with what i know i must tell the truth about...
Father during the past 18 months whilst i have been on my reconnaissance mission to scout out the situation here on earth my heart has been broken inside my chest over and over again! i know i have cried and complained and prayed to be set free of the pain and i want to ask you to forgive me for being such a pathetic incompetent servant instead of the warrior princess that we had hoped! but i have done it, and i have come full circle back to where i started from. i have gathered all the information we were seeking and i can tell you everything is ready! the illusion of division and separation could not be more complete! the gap between the haves and the haves not is so huge no human can even see across much less bridge across!
Father, first may i tell you about your children who have chosen to experience lack... Father, pls bless me with the strength put into words what i have seen and felt... your children are being called drug addict, alcoholic, whore, slut, nigger, pecker wood, dead beat, loser and worse! And believe me when i say the worst part is they believe it! they actually believe they disserve to suffer! they believe they disserve to have no home and no family, they get in groups and call themselves these horrible things! they struggle to understand and nothing is ever clear and they just find more ways to hurt themselves! Father, they have broken my heart completely and yet they have been the ones to give me hope! i love them in the way they support one another in their inability to understand and i love them for how they share the little they have when they have it! until they can take no more they go off to suffer alone! Father they sleep in the woods alone and cold! they wander the city streets and sleep in alleys and dumpsters and worse! they lay down in the desert blistered from the heat because they are cast out and judged and they believe they disserve it! they do not cry out to you Father because they do not know how! they do not believe themselves worthy, they do not understand love because they have never been shown...
Father may i tell you about your children who have chosen to experience abundance... Father the greed is so binding it constricts my heart to look at it... i forget how to breathe! bless me Father, help me remember you are my breath! in and out, and in and out... thank you the spinning has stopped momentarily... Father they live in these ridiculous huge houses with more food than they need and more clothes than they could ever wear! they believe money is real and they don't know it is their blessing to share! they believe they disserve what they have and they have gained it from their own power! they judge and they hate those without! they also gather together in groups where they call themselves worthy and believe themselves better than their neighbors! Father! i can't think of it any more! the heart break is too much!
Heavenly Father, you know i can't begin to list all the injustice here, it is too overwhelming for my wittle brain to comprehend! i know you are great Father and you see all things! i know you have all these things written down in your book, even the actions of the ones who have tried to take their names out of the book! you see the pain caused by the ones who claim to love you. i can't stop being aware of all the suffering and pain and i can do nothing but cry and try to tell the ones who cry with me that it is your plan and you are in control of it all! but Father, like my brother rick at the bus stop, covered on open sores with his feet in too much pain to walk, rick who took my hands in his and looked me in the eyes and told me "i had an encounter with Jesus Christ!" and i said "of course you did! tell me about it instantly!" and he tells me his story and i believe... and i believe him when he tells me that my Lord told him "if you believe in Me you shall never die!" but like rick said to me, Father i ask now "Lord where are you? we can't go on like this! i can't go out like this... you promised!"
now Father i wanna talk to you about your best boy Jesus! i am aware that there has been talk here about "what makes Him the greatest?!" and i know as a parent, i tried not to pick a favorite but i also know as a parent when you see the brightest light on the tree you know it! and Father i see you're right! Jesus Christ is the brightest light! He is the light of all the world!
Father i do not know how to fix all these horrible things that I have seen and felt but Father I see now I do not have to know because i believe Your Son Jesus Christ does! i believe He is the man with a plan to make it right! And Father i see now your Son is so amazing as the Son of God, He not only made the plan... and instead of just shouting it out over the loud speaker for us to follow... He came down here into the darkness with us, away from you and showed us the way! i understand that He died for us, and as much as it breaks my heart every minute to be without Him, yes he is not here, He is Risen. That Father is what i want to talk to you about... I understand that in all the scriptures written by men it says that no man knows when he is to return...
Heavenly Father, as your daughter, as the skinny brown sticking up hair retarded constantly messing up daughter that you made me... may i please humbly say... now is the time. Father we can not go on like this, and it is not just the countless people and all your beautiful plants and animals, but the planet itself! Your beautiful planet! the one you made for us to come and learn... She can't take it anymore! They call it the world of men! as if it is theirs to do with as they will! and they have Father, they burn down Her forests, pollute Her oceans... the filth, the destruction, the anger, the killing... it is too much to look at! i can't take it! none of us can! Please Father send your Son to make it all new again... Father, humbly i pray for this every minute... Thy Will be done on earth as it is in Heaven! please oh please oh please!
as for me Father i am ready to come home! i can do nothing here, i am powerless without you! i am hated and despised and judged and cast out! i have no home and no family and no will of my own to go on! please Father let me be where you are! let me be where i can love and be loved... Humbly i ask these things in the name of thy Son Jesus Christ ... amen
Father i really want to thank you for all the teachers you put in my path! so many teachers prepared ahead of time by generations of repeated choices to teach me every lesson of how to love and how to hate, of how to share and how to be greedy, how to embrace abundance and how to live in lack. Father i wanna thank you for allowing me to learn compassion thru my suffering! (pls forgive me for being such a noisy suffer!) and for allowing me to learn how to choose faith over fear. Father i really just wanna thank you and thank you and thank you every minute but i know i could never thank you enuf and you know how i go on and on so ima just move forward with what i know i must tell the truth about...
Father during the past 18 months whilst i have been on my reconnaissance mission to scout out the situation here on earth my heart has been broken inside my chest over and over again! i know i have cried and complained and prayed to be set free of the pain and i want to ask you to forgive me for being such a pathetic incompetent servant instead of the warrior princess that we had hoped! but i have done it, and i have come full circle back to where i started from. i have gathered all the information we were seeking and i can tell you everything is ready! the illusion of division and separation could not be more complete! the gap between the haves and the haves not is so huge no human can even see across much less bridge across!
Father, first may i tell you about your children who have chosen to experience lack... Father, pls bless me with the strength put into words what i have seen and felt... your children are being called drug addict, alcoholic, whore, slut, nigger, pecker wood, dead beat, loser and worse! And believe me when i say the worst part is they believe it! they actually believe they disserve to suffer! they believe they disserve to have no home and no family, they get in groups and call themselves these horrible things! they struggle to understand and nothing is ever clear and they just find more ways to hurt themselves! Father, they have broken my heart completely and yet they have been the ones to give me hope! i love them in the way they support one another in their inability to understand and i love them for how they share the little they have when they have it! until they can take no more they go off to suffer alone! Father they sleep in the woods alone and cold! they wander the city streets and sleep in alleys and dumpsters and worse! they lay down in the desert blistered from the heat because they are cast out and judged and they believe they disserve it! they do not cry out to you Father because they do not know how! they do not believe themselves worthy, they do not understand love because they have never been shown...
Father may i tell you about your children who have chosen to experience abundance... Father the greed is so binding it constricts my heart to look at it... i forget how to breathe! bless me Father, help me remember you are my breath! in and out, and in and out... thank you the spinning has stopped momentarily... Father they live in these ridiculous huge houses with more food than they need and more clothes than they could ever wear! they believe money is real and they don't know it is their blessing to share! they believe they disserve what they have and they have gained it from their own power! they judge and they hate those without! they also gather together in groups where they call themselves worthy and believe themselves better than their neighbors! Father! i can't think of it any more! the heart break is too much!
Heavenly Father, you know i can't begin to list all the injustice here, it is too overwhelming for my wittle brain to comprehend! i know you are great Father and you see all things! i know you have all these things written down in your book, even the actions of the ones who have tried to take their names out of the book! you see the pain caused by the ones who claim to love you. i can't stop being aware of all the suffering and pain and i can do nothing but cry and try to tell the ones who cry with me that it is your plan and you are in control of it all! but Father, like my brother rick at the bus stop, covered on open sores with his feet in too much pain to walk, rick who took my hands in his and looked me in the eyes and told me "i had an encounter with Jesus Christ!" and i said "of course you did! tell me about it instantly!" and he tells me his story and i believe... and i believe him when he tells me that my Lord told him "if you believe in Me you shall never die!" but like rick said to me, Father i ask now "Lord where are you? we can't go on like this! i can't go out like this... you promised!"
now Father i wanna talk to you about your best boy Jesus! i am aware that there has been talk here about "what makes Him the greatest?!" and i know as a parent, i tried not to pick a favorite but i also know as a parent when you see the brightest light on the tree you know it! and Father i see you're right! Jesus Christ is the brightest light! He is the light of all the world!
Father i do not know how to fix all these horrible things that I have seen and felt but Father I see now I do not have to know because i believe Your Son Jesus Christ does! i believe He is the man with a plan to make it right! And Father i see now your Son is so amazing as the Son of God, He not only made the plan... and instead of just shouting it out over the loud speaker for us to follow... He came down here into the darkness with us, away from you and showed us the way! i understand that He died for us, and as much as it breaks my heart every minute to be without Him, yes he is not here, He is Risen. That Father is what i want to talk to you about... I understand that in all the scriptures written by men it says that no man knows when he is to return...
Heavenly Father, as your daughter, as the skinny brown sticking up hair retarded constantly messing up daughter that you made me... may i please humbly say... now is the time. Father we can not go on like this, and it is not just the countless people and all your beautiful plants and animals, but the planet itself! Your beautiful planet! the one you made for us to come and learn... She can't take it anymore! They call it the world of men! as if it is theirs to do with as they will! and they have Father, they burn down Her forests, pollute Her oceans... the filth, the destruction, the anger, the killing... it is too much to look at! i can't take it! none of us can! Please Father send your Son to make it all new again... Father, humbly i pray for this every minute... Thy Will be done on earth as it is in Heaven! please oh please oh please!
as for me Father i am ready to come home! i can do nothing here, i am powerless without you! i am hated and despised and judged and cast out! i have no home and no family and no will of my own to go on! please Father let me be where you are! let me be where i can love and be loved... Humbly i ask these things in the name of thy Son Jesus Christ ... amen
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